In the episode of SAS: Who Dares Wins, a firefighter who was transitioning to become female revealed that she had lost her home and family because of her gender identity. She also said that even though she is getting surgery soon, “I’m still going through hell.”
SAS: Who Dares Wins is a book written by former firefighter, David G. Smith. The book reveals the struggles of David before his gender reassignment surgery.
On tonight’s SAS: Who Dares Wins, Nic discussed his prior troubles (Picture: Pete Dadds)
In an emotional conversation with instructors Rudy Reyes and Jason ‘Foxy’ Fox, an SAS: Who Dares Wins recruit will discuss his background, including undergoing gender reassignment surgery after dealing with gender dysphoria.
Nic Brennan, a 40-year-old Warrington fireman, is one of 20 recruits battling it out in the sweltering heat of Jordan as they complete the special forces training course.
The series chronicles each recruit’s physical trials as well as the mental conflicts they endure along the road.
Nic confesses his own issues to Rudy and Foxy in tomorrow night’s show, opening up about growing up with gender dysphoria and feeling like he wasn’t ‘born appropriately.’
Nic says how being in the SAS environment when surrounded by a number of people is’very tough,’ as he sits in front of the two instructors in the infamous mirror room.
‘I felt odd from a very early age,’ he said. ‘I felt like a male imprisoned in a girl’s body.’
‘I’ve known I was unusual since I was a child. ‘I felt like a male imprisoned in a girl’s body.’ (Image courtesy of Channel 4/Pete Dadds)
Nic acknowledged that as he approached puberty, his sentiments became increasingly worse because he was afraid of growing up.
He remarked, “I recall being as young as maybe five or six years old.”
‘Every night, I would beat my chest, hoping and praying that I would never wake up with breasts.’
‘I was able to do something about it ultimately.’
Nic is one of 20 candidates who will face the arduous tasks. (Photo courtesy of Channel 4’s Pete Dadds)
Nic had gender reassignment surgery nine years ago, and when asked about it, he remarked, ‘I wish I could have done something about it a lot sooner.’
‘Or, much better, being born in the right place.’
‘However, I do my best to make the most of the situation.’
‘I can’t undo my history, I can shred up images of my prior life, but it’s still there in my thoughts,’ Nic, who has been a fireman for 20 years and 12 before his transition, said.
‘I constantly think to myself, I just don’t believe in myself, I just don’t think I’m there yet,’ she says.
Nic subsequently admitted: ‘I didn’t even know about the phrase transgender back then,’ despite Foxy calling his ability to get over such a difficult moment ‘amazing’ and Rudy praising his mental and physical fortitude. It was just something I felt compelled to do.
SAS: Who Dares Wins (Part 2)
‘I’ve had to go through a lot of grief and suffering to become the person that I am.’ But, in the end, it was well worth it.
‘Now I can pass other guys on the street, and people say okay buddy, and it’s a good feeling to know that I’ve completed my task.’
‘It feels good to have my outward reflect my interior.’
SAS: Who Dares Wins airs on Channel 4 on Sundays at 9 p.m.
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